


Uninstall

by SubutaiKhan



Category: Bokura no | Bokurano: Ours, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Despair, Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:02:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubutaiKhan/pseuds/SubutaiKhan
Summary: Okay people. This story is a crossover between Dangan Ronpa and Bokurano. You don't know Bokurano? Better for me, you won't be spoiled.Expect sadness. A lot of sadness.





	1. Mukuro Ikusaba 1

__

_Hello, world._  
_“Who the fuck are you?”, I can hear you say. Well, it’s a very appropriate way to address one of your saviors._  
_“I don’t owe you anything, you little piece of shit!”. Oh, you do. You just don’t know it._  
_“The hell you’re talking about?”. I’m talking about a secret. A secret I shared with my classmates. With my twin sister._  
_“And why should I care about them?”. Maybe for the simple fact you still exist._  
_“You sure like LSD in place of cereals in your breakfast”. Don’t you dare speak ill of the dead! People who sacrificed their lives for your sake, you bastard!_  
_“What? They’re dead? Okay, I’m sorry but…”. Shut up! You desecrate their memory and hope that a mere “sorry” can fix everything. It doesn’t. It fucking doesn’t!_  
_“Calm your tits, you stupid teenager! I see death every day, you know that?”. Yeah, sure. Of course you do. But not that many people lived the nightmare they lived. The nightmare I’m living right now._  
_“Why are they different from the multitude of other dead? In my eyes a dead person is just that, a dead person”. Well, speak for yourself! They were my friends, my dearest friends. Junko was my other self, the twin I loved more than anything else. And, in case you didn’t understand, I will say it again: they died for your sake. They died to save you. As I will._  
_“How is it possible? People don’t die for the sake of the world, not in real life. That garbage happens only in the worst works of fiction”. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, it’s true. It’s damn true._  
_“Okay, now you have to explain to me this thing. Because I find very implausible that a bunch of fifteen/sixteen/seventeen/whateverthefuckeen years old brats could pull this shit off”. I really wish I could, but… it’s not possible._  
_“Are you serious? Let me get this straight: you’re claiming that your friends and your dearly loved sister died for me and, if I’m not mistaken, you will too... yet you can’t or don’t want to tell me why or how. Is it just me or does this thing lack sense?”. I… I really can’t. Believe me, since my time here is short I’d love to go out and shout everything for everyone to hear. They deserve it. I will deserve it. But…_  
_“I get it, I get it. Okay. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that what you just told me is the truth. Then why are we having this conversation again?”. I need to vent. I need to leave a trace of my passing in the grand scheme of things, or whatever. I need… I just need a small thing like this. A stupid little story on a stupid piece of paper. I won’t allow this whole thing to go completely unnoticed. It’s too cruel._  
_“Then why not go public? If you’re really going to die, I find it fair that you take the credit you deserve”. Wow, the world is deaf. I told you, I can’t. It’s…_  
_“Bullshit! It’s utter, total bullshit! I’ll tell you again, I don’t really believe your freaky story. But unless you’re schizophrenic or something, I don’t see a reason for you to lie in this matter. So I say that either you’re a loony, or a stupid martyr who doesn’t want her fifteen minutes of fame”. Please, part of my brain that is acting as the whole world. Don’t make me regret this. I already have too many regrets._  
_“Let me ask you this: were your friends or your sister as stubborn as you? Didn’t they tell anything about this?”. Well, it’s not really accurate to say they taped their mouths. They explained the situation to their families and told them why they won’t be seeing them coming home._  
_“They were idiots”. Shut up!  
_ _“No, I’m serious. They should have…”._

I stop writing. This… this is too much for me. And believe me, I haven’t said this many times in my life. Not even in the midst of a firefight.  
Why I’m torturing myself like this, I don’t know.  
I curse the kami, or whoever decided that the 78th class of Kibougamine Gakuen was fitting for this excruciating trial.  
We were young. We were hopeful. We were full of dreams and expectations and everything. Yet the scythe mercilessly cut all of our heads, leaving our bodies to fall flat on the ground.  
Stupid game. Stupid game! STUPID GAME!  
Why? Why? Why I ask, why? Why us? What did we do to deserve this despair? I bet someone, somewhere is really happy to see us suffer in this way. In some strange, dystopian alternate reality maybe that someone is Junko. Or maybe me. Or maybe someone I don’t know. That is, if their world still exists.  
What, you thought I was exaggerating when I said this shit was for the sake of the world? Guess again, genius.  
My eyes dampen as my memory races by itself back to when everything started. To when fate decided that I, Mukuro Ikusaba, would be the last survivor of our group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is just a prologue made to intrigue the reader and make him/her ask himself/herself "The fuck I read just now? Why are they all dead? Why does Mukuro talk like that?".  
> The answer in the next episodes.  
> Blame this image for your tears: http://tropical-hotdog.tumblr.com/post/158800197380/bokura-no-x-danganronpa-crossover  
> I thank you in advance for all kudos, comments and whatever.


	2. Makoto Naegi

“What… what the hell… is this?” I murmur. I purposefully murmur because I know no one can hear me, not if I don’t add my voice to the chorus of screams that has invaded this place in the last one hundred and twenty seconds.  
Okay, okay. I guess I’m not making much sense. I’d like to know the sense of whatever I’m living right now, but it seems I don’t have that luxury. Not me, not the others.  
Yes, of course I’m not alone. The _chorus of screams_ bit was quite clear. And who is here with me? My dear classmates, all of them.  
And where is here? That’s probably part of what made all this ruckus. We, I daresay “magically” (at least that’s how it worked for me), found ourselves in an empty, white, enormous space. We were told we’re inside a robot or something.  
We and Monokuma. That half-white, half-black, sneering, floating… thingy that made me sign the contract for a job as a video game beta-tester, a couple of days ago.  
“The fuck are they here for, you scumbag? Tryin’ to fuck with me, asshole?” Oowada-kun bellows. If this place had walls, they’d have trembled.  
“I fail to ascertain the presence of the gentleman I had an agreement with” Celes-san says.  
“This is truly despicable”. Togami-san.  
“The aliens abducted us! They’re gonna probe us anally! I’m scared shitless, man!”. Hagakure-kun.  
“Dude, don’t be stupid! Aliens don’t exist… at least, I don’t think”. Kuwata-kun.  
“Please, calm down. I’m sure everything will be swiftly explained to us”. Oogami-san.  
“Our current peril reminds me of an old manga. Didn’t like it, not nearly enough princesses”. Yamada-kun.  
“Is this a candid camera? Aw, you shouldn’t had! Wait. I take it back, you totally should had. After all I’m the most beautiful, wise and important woman in the world”. Enoshima-san. Just for the naive ones.  
“Somehow I doubt this revolves all around you, Junko-chan…”. Ikusaba-san, the sane half of the Despair Sisters.  
“Not to sound rude, but I have a rehearsal in about…”.  
“C’mon Togami, spill the beans and tell us why…”.  
“I won’t dignify you with an answer…”.  
Everyone is talking/shouting/pleading: some between one another and some alone, while a very small group manages to do both things at the same time. The lone exception is, of course, Kyouko-san. She’s the one supposed to keep a cool, calm demeanor in a weird situation like this. Her trademark Kirigiri’s Thinking Pose™ makes me smile slightly.  
I know. I just know that she will be able to solve the mystery, whatever it may be, and reach a satisfactory conclusion for all. She has never failed us. Never.  
“Okay bastards, will the real Slim Shady please stand up and will the rest of you KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP?”. This powerful proclamation by Monokuma manages to create the most complete silence I’ve ever witnessed.  
“Now” he starts, having obtained what he wanted “I think it’s time for you to have the complete picture”.  
“About frickin’ time!”.  
“Shut yer trap, Oowada, or I’m gonna do it for you in a very painful way. As I was saying… the complete picture. First of all, the reason. The real reason. Because what I or my partner told you when we had our little chat… is not true. It was a lie. A fabrication. To better explain myself: Naegi and Fujisaki, you two don’t have to beta-test a video game; Togami, I won’t decapitate your personal butler; Hagakure, the yakuza still wants you dead; Ludenberg, no castle in Europe for you. And so on. What you really obtained in that moment… is your death warrant”.  
…  
…  
What did he say?  
…  
...  
“You can stop staring at me like I’m some kind of disgusting disease. I’m merely stating a fact”.  
…  
…  
What the hell did he say?  
…  
…  
“How is it possible? Why? Who? When? Where? What? I won’t bore you and myself with insignificant details. The facts of the matter are the following: you sixteen bastards will have to pilot the giant robot we’re currently in, fight for your planet’s sake against an equally giant robot and, regardless of the result, drop down dead. This big toy works by sucking its pilot’s life force, so it matters not if you win or lose. At least, it matters not regarding your fate… because die you will. The difference lies for the rest of every single one of you insects: in case of defeat your world, your galaxy, your entire universe… will be erased. As if it never existed. The universe and all kind of life it contains, of course. Yes, this needless explanation was specifically aimed at you, Hagakure. So the basic rules are laid out. Any questions?”.  
…  
…  
…  
WHAT THE HELL DID HE SAY?  
…  
…  
…  
We… we’re gonna die? All of us?  
Why?  
Why?  
Why?  
I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t understand.  
I pray, I hope, I hope with all my soul that what we’re living right now is just the worst nightmare ever conceived. But the cold sweat on my brow, the shaking legs and the icy sense of dread that has taken hold of my heart… they tell me otherwise.  
It’s real.  
Is this what they call… despair?  
No one manages to speak. They are all petrified, like they’re encased in a thick layer of cruel awareness.  
Then, out of the blue, Kyouko-san shoots a question: “I demand to know why we were chosen for this thing”.  
Monokuma starts to laugh. A grim, unpleasant cackle: “How am I supposed to know? It wasn’t my call. Me and my partner were sent here with the explicit order to recruit you all. It was meant to be this way. To be honest his presence was not necessary, I could have done it myself. But we expected some of you, like the ever distrustful Ultimate Detective, to be a problem if I was the one proposing the contract. His more… human appearance was better suited for the job. All we knew was: the 78th class of Kibougamine Gakuen was the one we needed. Happy now?”.  
“Like hell we’re happy, you fucktard! You just told us we’re going to die and we’re supposed to be happy and shit? Go fuck a wild animal!”.  
“Oowada, be aware that I don’t have the slightest problem incinerating you on the spot. Want to feel how is it like to be thrown into the center of the Sun?”.  
The threat shuts him up. It’s obvious we are shaken, in normal conditions Oowada-san would be disputing his power and still be his usual angry self, shouting profanities and whatnot. Now he stays quiet, not uttering a single word.  
I’m sure someone like Kyouko-san or Togami-san is currently questioning the validity of the aforementioned threat, but it seems wise not to provoke him further and realize he was being truthful. At least they don’t look like they’re going to say anything.  
A reaction like this is to be expected, after all. We just learned we are unavoidably, unquestionably, 100% going to die… soon? He didn’t tell us anything in that regard.  
I pose the question about the timing, and his answer stuns me even more: “I really don’t know, not the order of piloting and not when each of you is supposed to be the brave lamb who saves or condemns the world. It’s, as I like to call it, the great circus of chaos. The first one of you bastards will be notified when he or she is due to pilot”.  
“Is there something you do know?” inquires Celes-san, apparently the least shocked of us.  
“You betcha there is. You’ll die and I won’t”.  
“How can we be sure you are telling the truth?”.  
“Let me count the ways, little baroness: I teleported you bunch here; I’ll teleport you back to the ground; I can destroy you all with a mere blink of my eyes, and rest assured I would if I was allowed to. Is it enough for you?”.  
“I am afraid not” she calmly replies, shaking her head “Show me some more concrete proof”.  
Uh oh, what’s this feeling of annihilation I’m sensing right now? It looks like I’m not the only one catching wind of that, since many of us look worriedly at him.  
“So you wanna proof, huh?”.  
Oh gosh. I have a bad feeling about this.  
“Celes-san, apologize! Now!” I shout, sincerely hoping she will follow my advice. She scornfully refuses.  
Oh. My. God.  
In a matter of seconds we all see her left pinky rolling on the white floor. A trail of blood follows its path.  
She collapses on her knees, pressing the wound with the other hand. Her scream is deafening.  
“You’re lucky you won’t need that for your mission. But if you continue to pester me, I won’t hesitate to teleport your brain out of your skull. And _that_ would be a problem, I guess”.  
“I strongly advise all of you to not antagonize him. We all saw what happened to Ludenberg. I believe he’s serious” says Kyouko-san in a grim tone, while motioning for someone to help her with the wailing, now nine-fingered Gambler.  
“Of course we’re serious! Do you really think we’d let such insolence slide? A king has to remind the peasants of their place!”.  
I won’t ask why he used the plural, he seems quite prone to other bouts of violence and I like my fingers where they are.  
“Very well, boys and girls. If you don’t have any more complains to vocalize, I say you’re ready to go back where you belong. Which is very very far from me. Buh bye, see you when it’s time to pilot”.  
No one has time to do anything. We find ourselves in the hallway just outside our classroom. Luckily there’s no one who can see the bleeding Celes-san.  
“I don’t understand what the hell just happened…”.  
“This is inexcusable…”.  
“Are we really going to die…?”.  
Confusion reigns over us. I still find it expected.  
The numbness I feel regresses a little when Oogami-san helps Celes-san on her feet and says she’s gonna go with her to the infirmary. I look around and breathe a sigh of relief when there’s no severed pinkie in sight. It would have been troublesome to explain. Although it will be troublesome for the two of them to come up with a believable excuse.  
Not my problem. I’m afraid we have bigger fish to fry right now.  
Amidst the commotion I clearly see the figure of Kyouko-san leaving. I sprint in her direction and catch up quite quickly: “Sorry if I ask, but…”.  
“I’m going to my father’s office”.  
Huh? Why is she…  
“If you’re wondering why, I want to be frank and tell him of our current predicament”.  
“What? Are you sure? Because…”.  
“...it means I have to tell him that I’m going to die, if what Monokuma said is true? Yes, I know. Follow my reasoning, with the assumption that our floating enemy is being honest with us: you’re the headmaster and, over an unspecified amount of time, you see the 78th class losing all of its students one by one. What are you going to think? Are you able to answer this question?”.  
I… I must say I’m not. It would be too creepy and too abnormal for me to understand. Although I’m not headmaster Kirigiri, so I can’t say for sure he wouldn’t be able to somehow wrap his head around it. But I see her point.  
“So you’re going to spill the beans to him…”.  
“It’s the best, and arguably the safest, way. Okay, we’re not completely sure that our demise will be the final act of this tragedy, but it’d be stupid to discard the chance simply because it’s ludicrous. After all he was the one who sliced off a finger because its owner was being too cocky for his taste, so I wouldn’t take him lightly. You know, better safe than sorry”.  
While I continue to walk beside her, I can’t help but wonder if she has made the right decision. I mean, she’s going to…  
“Sorry Naegi-kun, but now that I think about it: why are you coming with me, exactly?” she casually asks, interrupting my train of thoughts.  
I violently blush. I almost forgot how reserved she really is: “I… I’m sorry, my body moved on its own. I’m… I’m intruding, aren’t I?”.  
A small chuckle escapes her lips: “Yeah, a little. But to tell you the truth I really don’t mind. On the contrary, you will help ease some of my nervousness”.  
“What? You’re nervous?”.  
“Please, Naegi-kun. A floating little monster tells me I’m going to be dead sooner than later, my gut whispers to me he’s not lying, he confirms his claim by demonstrating what I’d dare to call _demonic power_ … and I’m supposed to shrug all of this off without the slightest hesitation? I know I like to come across as unwavering as tempered steel, but don’t forget I’m still a human being, you know…”. She interrupts the flow of her speech and turns her head away from me.  
Am I to understand… she’s trying to not let me see her in a compromising state?  
A miniscule gasp makes its presence known and then immediately peters out.  
“I was sure not even something of this magnitude was going to dent you. You seemed so composed back there…”.  
“I was composed, a lot more than most of the others”.  
“O-Oh. Sure you were! I didn’t mean to…”.  
“I know, I know”.  
Better let this topic slide. I fear I’m about to hurt her pride.  
We finally arrive at our destination. She knocks on the door and awaits his invite to enter.  
“Kyouko! Naegi! Why are you two here?” he beams, standing up from his chair and coming towards us.  
“We need to speak to you about a very urgent, very important matter” she states in her best business-like tone.  
I think I’ve never see her so eager to distance herself from her own emotions. Maybe because she never allowed someone to see how they can affect her, if only she lowers her guard.  
We each take a seat. They are face to face, while I’m slightly at her left.  
I feel so unnecessary right now.  
“You’re really serious, Kyouko. More than usual. I take it’s a big deal then. Want to share with your old man?” he half-jokes. I guess this is an attempt to lighten the mood.  
A valiant attempt that miserably fails.  
“What we’re about to say will absolutely terrify you, I’m sure of that. So I won’t try to lessen the blow, because there’s no easy way to introduce you to the problem”.  
During the dramatic pause I clearly catch his face darkening. He probably sensed the trouble coming his way.  
“Father, I’ll be blunt: me, Naegi-kun and all of our class… our days are numbered”.  
For a moment that feels like a century, a coat of ice covers our heads.  
He stares at her. She stares at him. I ask myself what I came here for.  
Then he finally manages to say something: “What… what do you mean?”.  
“What I said. We don’t know for sure when, but I can say with a moderate degree of certainty that the entire 78th class is soon going to bite the dust”.  
A moment of hesitation on his part. Then: “It’s… it’s a prank, isn’t it?”.  
“You know me” she stoically replies “and I bet you don’t even remember the last time I messed around. Do you really believe I wouldn’t be completely serious in a matter so delicate?”.  
“But… but how? How did this happen? Why?”.  
“From what I gathered, it worked differently for each one of us. Some got threatened, some were promised rewards. As for me, they told me… well…”.  
Realization dawns on his face: “It was… about me, wasn’t it?”.  
She doesn’t respond, but the three of us know what she meant.  
“Please Kyouko, and you too Naegi. Explain to me exactly what happened”.  
We proceed to recount the meeting (Monokuma for me, that mysterious partner of his for Kyouko-san) and how we were convinced to sign the contract. Then she goes on to illustrate the scene aboard the robot’s cockpit, mentioning the incident with Celes.  
“What? Are you kidding me?” he exclaims, flabbergasted.  
“No. Ludenberg got her pinkie sliced off for her insolence. That’s part of the reason why I’m inclined to believe what he said about us. He meant business”.  
More silence. I’m starting to hate it.  
I can see the headmaster’s body trembling. Not “caught in the middle of an earthquake” trembling, more like “I’m so shocked right now I can’t even” trembling.  
“And the other part?” he inquires.  
“What other part?”.  
“The part that leads you to believe his words. After all you don’t have a single proof to validate his wacky story, am I right? At least not yet”.  
She blatantly winces, but manages to regain her composure before elaborating: “Yes, I admit you’re right. We are still alive, all sixteen of us. In this case the only way to prove the veracity of his claim will be to wait after the first fight. When the chosen pilot, according to his version, will have his or her lifeforce sucked out of the body”.  
“So? Why does a member of the esteemed Kirigiri line of detectives let herself be swayed by a baseless speculation?”.  
“Excuse me, are you exempting yourself from our lineage?”.  
“Don’t make me repeat myself. You perfectly know I renounced that baggage”.  
“But you still use the investigative reasoning. How convenient”.  
“Is it inappropriate for a father to worry for his daughter? I just hope you’re rushing conclusions, that’s all”.  
Oh please, I didn’t come here to hear them squabble. If they wanted an audience they could have...  
_Makoto Naegi, you’re the next._  
What?  
What did I just hear?  
A voice in my head just told me I’m the next.  
Next for what?  
…  
It strikes me like a lightning bolt.  
I’m the first.  
Talk about being the Luckster.  
“Sorry if I interrupt…”.  
“What is it, Naegi-kun?”.  
“You want to be sure if Monokuma is right, headmaster? You have to look no further than me. I just received an ominous warning”.  
“A warning?”.  
“If I die anytime soon, you will have the proof you seek”.  
“What are you saying?”.  
“I have been chosen to pilot. If we want to believe Monokuma, I will be the first victim”.  
They both stare at me with eyes wide open. _Aghast_ doesn’t even begin to describe their faces.  
Kyouko-san, I think I’m starting to like when you don’t hide your vulnerability. Do it more often. It can only be good for you.  
“I… don’t believe you…” the elder Kirigiri stammers.  
“What possible benefit would I gain from distorting the truth? It’d pretty pointless, don’t you think? Besides, you know I’m genetically incapable of lying”. Not to brag, but it’s my strongest point of interest.  
He admits defeat.  
“Are you absolutely sure about that?”.  
“Positive. Otherwise I don’t know what I can be the next for. And not many people call me without using a cellphone”.  
Silence smothers us. Again. I see now why someone prefers any kind of noise to this.  
“I… I can’t believe” the headmaster suddenly says “how you two are reacting to the news. I’d be flipping out if I were one of you”.  
“What can we possibly do? We agreed to that contract, although in our defence I must say we were tricked, and these are the consequences. Nothing we can do, nothing to mull over. I like not to overreact”.  
“It’s not true there’s nothing to mull over. You and me had our altercations in the past, my dear daughter, but we both know better than that. What about your lifelong dreams? And don’t even dare to negate, you spent an entire night telling me about them”.  
“I-It’s not something I want to talk about now…”.  
“Then when? You said it yourself, your days are probably numbered”.  
“What do you want to hear me say? That I will regret not being able to achieve my goals? Fine then, here it comes: I will regret that. I will die too soon and I won’t be able to get what I planned for my entire life. I hope you’re happy”.  
Me and the headmaster are both taken aback by her little outburst because, while it was obvious she felt very engaged when saying it, her exterior appearance didn’t change in the slightest.  
Not that I’m complaining. Up until two hours ago I’d never have imagined to see her so emotional. I guess knowing that your expiry date is near has this kind of impact, even on her.  
The three of us share the awkwardness of what is happening, what was said mere moments ago and what has altogether transpired in this very office.  
It feels terribly surreal. Thinking about it after the dire news, I surprise myself of how well I’m managing to rationalize it. I mean, not every day some incorporeal entity tells you telepathically that you’re close to the point of no return.  
I guess… it’s not normal? I should be more scared, yet I don’t feel that way. Not right now, at least. I’m simply accepting the reality of it. And I think something’s wrong with me.  
Okay, I’ll worry about that at the appropriate time.  
“Very well, I think we’re done here” she abruptly exclaims, catching me unprepared. She’s about to get up from her chair when her father grabs her wrist: “Kyouko…”.  
“What do you want?”. She seems annoyed by the sudden gesture, but doesn’t say anything more.  
“I just wanna ask… how is your class taking this?”.  
“Gee, I don’t know. I guess they’re alright”. And here, with this sarcastic remark, I can say I’ve seen everything there is to see regarding Kyouko Kirigiri.  
“I’m not in the mood for your sass. I’ll inform your teachers as fast as possible, so they will be prepared. Naegi, I suggest you do the sensible thing like my daughter did and talk about this whole mess with your parents. My advice stands for your classmates too”.  
“I didn’t…” she begins to protest, but he shushes her: “Don’t try to be tsundere with me. I know you well enough”.  
He comes along with us to the door and just before we exit he says: “If there’s something I can do don’t hesitate to…”.  
“Can you subvert death?”. Poison in her voice.  
He doesn’t respond.  
And we’re out.  
I’m about to ask what she wants to do when she starts to walk away. As I move my foot to follow in her path she spits: “Don’t. I need to stay alone”.  
I don’t dare to defy her order.  
Well then, since I doubt the others are still outside the classroom… I guess I need to stay alone too.  
Dejected, I set the course towards my room.

*

Madness. This is madness and not Sparta.  
I will never be older than seventeen.  
No graduation from high school.  
No sex. Although I probably still have time for that. Time but not a partner, unluckily.  
No boring office work from 8 to 18.  
No mortgage to pay.  
No marriage.  
No children.  
No grandchildren.  
No Alzheimer's and no retirement home.  
I once heard that life begins at eighteen. I was maybe six or seven, don’t remember. At that time I marveled at adult life: booze, more liberty than I had, parties and all those things. You know how a child’s mind works.  
Now that I’m nearing that season of life, I realize I’ll never live to see it.  
Okay okay okay, I know, I know. Maybe I’m rushing things. Maybe it’s some kind of trick or something, Monokuma is not an evil ball of evilness and we’re not fated to die. I mean, the headmaster’s objections were thoughtful and sound, and for a detective of Kyouko-san’s skill she certainly lent too much credit to an unverified declaration.  
Funny. I’m lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and my main concern is not the nearest exam.  
Let me try my hand at sleuthing.  
The information we have is: Monokuma has some sort of teleportation power (demonstrated in a couple of occasions, bringing us in the robot’s cockpit and then back at school… and don’t forget Celes-san’s finger) and, unless they prove me wrong, all of my classmates signed some sort of contract with him. Then there’s my own exclusive tidbit: I have been summoned by a mysterious voice to be the next one. And since we were told that every pilot will be notified one at the time…  
The rest is mere conjecture at the moment. But I must really say, I’ve never see a person like Kyouko-san so agitated. It’s almost as if she perceived the gravity of the situation and didn’t make her usual effort to hide her feelings. Oh yes, I’m aware of the fact that she has feelings. I’ve never seen her as an inhuman cyborg or some silliness like that, it was obvious to me that her modus operandi is “I feel, but it’s better if I’m the only one who knows it”.  
Today her facade shuddered more than once. I don’t blame her, the matter at hand is of the utmost importance and, as she herself said, she’s human after all.  
And… I still feel eerily calm.  
How is it possible? I had my death announced to me like it was a weather report. No condolences, no sadness when he told me, nothing. He didn’t care in the slightest, that I’m sure of. And yet I’m not anxious, not terrified, not in despair.  
Not at this moment.  
_Naegi, I suggest you do the sensible thing like my daughter did and talk about this whole mess with your parents._  
Sensible thing, he said. Some would say she was possessed or something. Who, in their right mind, would go to one of their parents (the only one they have, I might add) and tell them that they’re about to die?  
Although, I must say… the idea is somewhat cruel, but not totally insane. After all I do believe what Monokuma said, so that means I won’t see them ever again if they don’t know.  
I don’t particularly like it, but I’m really tempted. My eyes dart by themselves towards my nightstand, where my phone lies.  
What the hell. I don’t have time to waste. For all I know, the call can come this very instant.  
I take it.  
CLICK CLICK CLICK.  
“Hello, this is the Naegi household”.  
Oh.  
“Hi Komaru”.  
“Hi brother! Long time no hear!”.  
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, school is keeping me really busy”.  
“No problem. I’m just happy to hear you”.  
Okay, you’re trying to break my heart aren’t you?  
“So? Why are you calling?”.  
“Yeah, about that… are mom and dad there?”.  
“No, they’re both out. Why do you ask?”.  
“I was wondering… would you mind coming to see me, one of these days? My schedule is quite clogged up…”.  
“Oh my, does the almighty Ultimate Luckster miss her cute little sister?”.  
“I do… but my invitation was extended... to the whole family. You, mom and dad…”.  
“You okay? You sound… worried”.  
Damn. I won’t tell her over the phone. It’s too cold, too impersonal.  
I want to be face to face with them when I announce my departure from this world.  
“Sure, I’m alright. No worries…”.  
“Really?”.  
“I assure you, everything is fine and dandy. But please... talk to them as soon as you can. I really, really, really... miss you all...”.  
“Now you’re starting to worry me. Your voice seems so desperate…”.  
“Just do it, okay? Pretty please?”.  
“Okay, okay. I will. Just don’t start to cry on me”.  
“I’m not *sniff* crying…”.  
“For God’s sake, Makoto! What’s the matter?”.  
“Please, I implore you. Tell them and *sniff* come here as fast as you can. I’m okay but… I really need to see my family, I *sniff* have something to explain…”.  
Sadness overcomes me. I briefly say goodbye and hang up.  
Well Makoto, are you happy? You wanted more emotion in front of your impending death? You sure got it.  
I try to stop myself from sobbing, a not so easy operation.  
I just hope they will be here soon. I don’t want to leave a void behind me.

*

_The next day._  
Wow, this class is so surreal.  
The teacher, Kobayakawa-san, is reading from the textbook but nobody’s really listening. Who bothers with Japanese history in a situation like ours? Surely not me, and it seems my attitude is the most common. Some of my classmates are lost in themselves, some others are looking outside the window toward the cosmos maybe pondering about the meaning of life. Or its futility.  
I waited this morning to give them the news, after all it was the moment I was almost sure every one of them would be present and listening. They now know they’re not the first names on the list, so I guess they feel a tiny bit relieved. But of course it’s just a temporary respite.  
I forgot to ask Celes-san how she managed in the infirmary with her finger, but since she didn’t say anything on the matter I assume she and Oogami-san came up with something plausible.  
Here we are, all sixteen of us. Sixteen people wallowing in a mutual feeling of… hopelessness? I think? Can’t really say for sure, each person has its own way of processing a matter so delicate and personal. While I’m not daring to say it’s possible to be elated in a situation like this, I won’t anonymize their thoughts and concerns. But even I, the self-proclaimed avatar of optimism, fail to see a single positive aspect. Because, simply put, there isn’t one.  
An entire class of freshmen is going to disappear, leaving practically no trace of their passing in this sick sad world except for the broken hearts of their families and loved ones. That is, if they’ll succeed in the burdensome mission placed upon their shoulders. Because we’re carrying the fate of the planet and defeat means erasure.  
Okay then, in a roundabout way Monokuma didn’t lie to me. I’ll be a beta tester of sort. Or more precisely my corpse will.  
“The Sengoku Jidai started approximately around 1467, with the Ōnin War, and lasted until 1615 with the fall of Osaka, when Ieyasu Tokugawa crushed the last vestiges of Toyotomi’s power and the shogunate…”.  
Yeah, sure. Continue to bore us with something even a five year old child knows. We don’t care in the slightest, you know? Not even Ishimaru is paying attention, and that’s saying something.  
Usually I don’t jump down on history’s throat like this. On the contrary, I quite like it. Find it fascinating. It’s just that… you see, history is a window to both the past and the future. Learn from the first to better face the second. But, despite our young ages, we won’t have a future. Guess why I find this lecture particularly irritating.  
Then, out of the blue…  
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.  
A loud noise akin to a whistle catches my attention. Kuwata-kun rises up from his seat, a hand pointing outside the window, and shouts: “What the actual fuck is THAT?”.  
…  
Can’t believe my eyes.  
Our robot… is materializing itself in the middle of the Kibougamine’s forecourt, the one with the big fountain. At least I think it’s our robot, but I can’t see many other options.  
No. No. No.  
My head blanks as I join my classmates, who have gathered themselves by the windows.  
This could only mean…  
Of course other people have come to see the spectacle. You would find difficult to hear your own thoughts, given the incredible amount of screams and curses and open displays of amazement.  
“Wassup, bastards? Get your junk together, recite your prayers and hop aboard the ol’ giant mastodon of death!”.  
Behind us.  
As you could imagine, it’s Monokuma. His smile is disheartening.  
“What… what are you?” Kobayakawa-san asks, astonished. She was skeptical and, at the beginning of the lesson, told us that she didn’t believe in the headmaster’s ramblings about strange floating things and our doom.  
Now she does.  
“I’m the harbinger of these martyrs’ demise. Sixteen poor, unfortunate souls. Mine is a heavy duty, one that I carry with a grieving heart”.  
Fuck his nonsense, I don’t have time for that.  
I…  
I won’t be able to tell my family…  
Kami, no… please, no…  
He faintly squints his eyes and we’re back in the great white nowhere. This time, however, there are chairs organized in a semicircular arc.  
Sixteen. One for each of us.  
He tells me to sit, saying that I should recognize mine. And I do. It’s the chair I have back at home, in my room. A simple swivel chair, nothing too fancy.  
But I don’t sit.  
Instead I face him.  
“Why… why now? Couldn’t you at least wait a couple of days, dammit? I had… something to do!”.  
His face hardens, and for the first time he talks with cold seriousness: “I’ll say this only once, so you all better open your ears and listen good: I don’t have any semblance of control over the game’s proceedings. I’m here just to teleport the pilot into the cockpit and answer his questions about the fight. You want to complain? Stick your head to the skies and yell, because your culprits are probably somewhere up there. I have no idea. Now, can we begin? You have forty-eight hours, but the sooner the better”.  
I’m… I’m taken aback by this confession. He seemed genuine.  
That means… I can’t blame him?  
And if that’s true… who am I going to blame?  
Anger, pain, regret. I feel all those emotions starting to bubble inside me, each trying to muscle its way out.  
It seems it was just a matter of waiting the crucial moment. Silly me.  
I quietly start to weep as I sit down.

*

Phew. It was not easy.  
I cried the whole time, incapable of forgetting that I won’t see my parents and my sister ever again.  
The battle was probably something to behold, I must admit it. Two robots duking it out in the center of Tokyo, ravaging buildings and destroying almost everything.  
Lasers flew. Arms the size of an aircraft carrier were thrown onto the streets below. I almost took the Tower to use it as a makeshift lance.  
I don’t really want to know how many people I’ve killed during what could be called a _rampage_. I’m sorry. I really am.  
This thing will have consequences. Lucky me that I won’t be the one to face them.  
But right now I can say it was worth it: in my giant right hand I’m holding the enemy cockpit. Monokuma told me that it’s the only important part, the part that has to be destroyed to win.  
I did it.  
So.. why I don’t feel even the slightest trace of joy?  
Before crushing it there’s something else that needs to be done.  
Since I command the robot with my thoughts, I don’t have to stay particularly focused on the battlefield. And I won, so there shouldn’t be any problem. This allows me to sit up, face my classmates and ask them to come closer to me.  
“What is it, Naegi-kun? How are you?”.  
“I’m fine, Maizono-san. I guess I’ll take my last breath after the final act. I was wondering… would you mind if I want to be a little selfish?”.  
Reactions vary. Some accuse me of being stupid and nonsensical and whatever (be it with words or with their silence, right Togami-san?), while others try to be supportive and say it’s alright.  
“C’mon, ask. A hero deserves at least that”.  
“Thank you. Okay, yesterday I phoned home. I planned to tell them everything about this, but as you can imagine it was too late. So my family will probably come and visit Kibougamine one of these days, and they won’t find me. Not alive”.  
“You want us… to tell them?”.  
“Not all of you! It’d be fine it was just one... “.  
Silence follows. Monokuma flies like a mosquito around me, encouraging me to do the deed and be over with it.  
Bug off. First I need an answer.  
“Very well, I’ll do it” Kyouko-san volunteers “After all, you were the one who came with me to the headmaster’s office. I find it only fair to return the favor”.  
I’m again moved to tears.  
“Hey, just a friendly reminder: you can’t postpone forever! Time is ticking, you know?”. Yeah Monokuma, I know. Thanks for being a douchebag.  
“Please, Kyouko-san… tell ‘em… I’ll miss them…”.  
“I’m sure the feeling is mutual”.  
Okay, I hate to admit it but our resident asshole is right. Sooner or later I’ll have to do this.  
Here it goes.  
I will it.  
We all hear a massive CRUNCH coming from outside.  
It's done.  
I'm dead.  
Suddenly my legs become shaky as hell and stop sustaining me.  
I fall to the ground.  
My breathing becomes labored. My heart slows down.  
Sucks… to be… me…

_Makoto Naegi died on the 14th of May, 2010._  
_One down. Fifteen to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first real chapter.  
> So, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Find it meh? Tell me, I'm open to all kind of criticism.  
> Thank you in advance for all comments, kudos and whatever.


	3. Sayaka Maizono

…  
It’s… it’s true then…  
I still hoped that all of this was nothing more than a brutal joke. I was naive.  
Naegi-kun is… is… oh god... dead.  
He peacefully slumped on the ground, without any visible injury.  
Kirigiri places two fingers on his throat and ruefully declares: “No pulse”.  
I don’t… I can’t… impossible…  
Nobody says anything, although there are three or four malevolent gazes toward Monokuma. He simply ignores them, exonerating himself from the blame: “You knew”.  
“That doesn’t mean it’s not shocking!” I loudly attack him, momentarily beating the torpor.  
“Tch. My calculations told me you imbeciles would have reacted 96.1% this way… and it’s still incredibly frustrating to hear your yapping”.  
“Deal with your frustration! We have just witnessed the senseless death of one of us, you can’t really expect anything different!”.  
“First of all: it wasn’t senseless, my dear bimbo. Secondly: as I said, I expected nothing more from your bunch. Stupid little kids who can’t come to terms with a thing as simple as this”.  
“I bet you speak like that ‘cause it’s not your ass on the line…” I mumble. I like having ten fingers.  
His stare makes clear he understood what I just said, but that he’s mercifully letting it slip this time. Good job Sayaka, now he finds you unpleasant. Way to go, girl.  
“Whatever” Togami interjects, serious as always “We have a more pressing matter on our hands”.  
“You mean…” Fujisaki says before stopping himself in his tracks.  
“The body. What are we going to do with the body” Kirigiri completes Togami’s statement. He smirks, probably pleased that someone caught up immediately.  
“Got any suggestions, Monokuma?” is the question coming out of Celes’ mouth. I thought she didn’t want to have anything to do with him, not after the pinkie’s affair. My gaze shifts to her bandaged left hand and I shudder.  
“The hell are you asking me for? I don’t know! Burn it, eat it, use it as a prop during an anatomy class. I don’t know and I don’t care!” he irritatingly answers. Then, in a fit of generosity, he adds “Although there is a place you can put it in, now that I think about it…”.  
“And where is it? Tell us!”. Oowada, would you please shut up? The last thing I need now is your ear splitting tone of voice.  
“The eye”.  
“Eye? What eye?”.  
“Mh? Haven’t you seen the face of the toy? It has sixteen little open spaces, one of each of you, and sixteen glowing red lights. When one of your number dies the light goes out, and the cavity becomes available if you want to stash the body there”.  
“The robot Naegi-kun fought had all its eyes lit…”.  
“That means…”.  
“They were inexperienced. He got lucky” Togami surmises, arms crossed and a slightly worried look on his face.  
He’s right. You could have told us that sooner, Monokuma. It’s an important piece of information, don’t you think?  
Great. Another concern. I’m sure we hadn’t enough.  
“ _We_ got lucky, you mean. He wasn’t just fighting for himself”.  
“...”. Only Kyouko Kirigiri can shut him up so thoroughly.  
“So we’re going to stuff him there?”.  
“Stuff him there? What is he, a broken piece of furniture?”.  
“Of course he isn’t, but I don’t think I want to keep a corpse in my room”.  
“Neither do I…”.  
“Listen, I really don’t like this course of action. But, unless one of you comes up with a brilliant idea to solve the problem, I think it’s our best option”.  
“It’s inhuman! I won’t allow it!”.  
“Then you accept the responsibility, don’t you?”.  
“Oh… well…”.  
The discussion becomes quite heated and we all get involved, some supporting it and some denouncing it as a horrible thing. And while I agree with the latter, I see why there are people in favor of it. I mean, it’s not an easy task… disposing of a dead body. I’d surely feel uncomfortable. And what about his parents? And his sister? And god knows who? I wouldn’t like to be the one to tell them what happened to him. Yeah, I know Kirigiri volunteered but my point still stands.  
And in the end it doesn’t even matter… whoops. Sorry. Didn’t mean to ruin the moment. As I was saying, in the end we reluctantly decide to take advantage of the opportunity Monokuma presented to us. Almost nobody really likes this prospect, but I guess we can’t do better than that.  
I feel a bit sorry. This plight reminds me that life can be a very cruel mistress. As if I needed the memo.  
“For future reference: when it’ll be my turn, I’d like for my body to be returned to my father. He’s the only family I have outside of my grandfather, who is old and frail, and he already knows about all of this”.  
“Kirigiri-san, are you sure?”.  
“I am. And I would strongly advise all of you to decide ahead of time about the matter. As you just saw, it could be a cause of disagreement and we really don’t need the extra baggage. Especially not after…”. She trails off, seemingly incapable of completing the sentence. And that draws more than one surprised look from the rest of us.  
“Are we supposed to say it publicly, like you did?”.  
“Not if you don’t want to, of course. It’s a private call. But if you choose discretion, it would be wise to make sure your will is respected”.  
And then silence falls like a stone over us.  
Judging from their faces, all my classmates are thinking about our predicament and what really entails. For us first and foremost, since we’re the main actors of the show. And for our parents, our brothers, our sisters, our cousins, our dogs and our cats. They’re all involved, even if they still don’t know it. They’ll take the emotional brunt after we leave the stage. Because I don’t think it would be a smart move to let the world know that students of the esteemed Kibougamine Gakuen are implicated with the giant robot attack that has ravaged Tokyo and caused the deaths of countless people. It’d be pretty stupid, the way I see it. So it seems clever to believe no one outside of this small circle of people (and whoever close relative gets directly dragged in) will know of our grisly fate.  
What about me? Do I want to disappear from the face of the earth once I’m dead? I’m afraid my case is a bit different from all the others, except Enoshima and maybe Togami. After all, while all of us are quite famous in our respective social circles, only I and the Ultimate Model have our faces sticked on almost every wall in Japan. Okay, maybe I’m a bit exaggerating but that’s not too far from the truth. And he’s the heir of the Togami Zaibatsu, not exactly a person that goes unnoticed. The three of us must face an additional problem: how are we going to justify to the world what will happen.  
Having to worry about the aftermath is the last thing I need. Did the makers of this vicious joke think that it would be hilarious to burden the participants with troubles besides the fear of death? Wasn’t it enough, goddamnit?  
I’ll take care of this later. Right now I can’t.  
The sci-fi screen near the pilot’s position, which allowed Naegi-kun to see what was happening outside while he steered the robot, is still blaring with screams, ambulances’ sirens and whatnot. He left quite a mess, but to be fair he just did what had to be done. I’m sure he was the first who didn’t want unnecessary destruction, but that… I guess it was necessary.  
Argh. My head hurts. Too much thinking, too many emotions and way too much stress.  
“Okay, time to scram boys and girls. The toy is gonna dematerialize any second now and I need my guinea pigs in perfect physical health. As you decided, I’ll dispose of the corpse”. With these words Monokuma teleports the totality of the class 78, Naegi excluded, back to the classroom.  
Kobayakawa-san is nowhere to be seen, and I must say I’m happy with it.  
“It’s... true... it’s really... true then…” Asahina stammers, clutching Oogami’s arm. Until now I neglected to study my friends’ reactions, too busy with my own angst, but I feel it’s time to remedy that. And what I see doesn’t comfort me: crying eyes, shivering bodies, heads turned toward the ground. I didn’t think I would see something different, I admit it, but the visual check still stings somewhat.  
Only three people seem to keep themselves together: Kirigiri, Togami and Ikusaba. For the latter the reason is plain to see: she’s a soldier, so she learned first-hand that life ends sooner or later (sooner than later in her case, given her line of work). As for the other two, well… it’s simply how they like to portray themselves. Always aloof, always composed, always in control. I really don’t get them. Where’s the fun in life if you go about your daily routine with the verve of a block of ice?  
Oh, and Oogami too. I overlooked her, and I don’t know how is that possible. She’s busy trying to comfort Asahina, and failing miserably at that, but she herself doesn’t seem to suffer any kind of repercussion from our ordeal. Probably she’s in a mental state similar to Ikusaba’s, since the two of them kinda share the mindset in regards to the Grim Reaper, or at least I suppose that’s the case. I hate myself when I become overdramatic.  
“True it is, alas”.  
“Ludenberg, fuck off! I had my fill of campy crap for today when Monokuma announced himself before the battle”. And no, she’s not a member of the We’re too Cool to React Club. She tried and she failed. We know you’re not really a countess with vampire servants, Taeko Yasuhiro.  
“Oh my, you sure are an uncouth brute Oowada. You should take lessons from the gentle giant of the 80th class, that… what was his name again? Gokuhara?”.  
“Look all the fucks I give. He could be named Gojira for all I care!”.  
“Nervous much, my dear rider?”.  
“Yeah, I’m out-of-my-balls nervous in case you didn’t notice! Naegi died straight outta nowhere like, two minutes ago. And we’re gonna follow him. It feels like I’m completely going crazy!”.  
“You are. You are in good company, too”.  
...that’s not exactly a savvy move, Celes. You’re smart enough to understand that.  
Okay, free to kill your time as you wish. It’s not my business and I’m not going to meddle.  
What I’d like to know, on the other hand, is how…  
_Sayaka Maizono, you’re the next._  
…  
I’m… what?  
What does this mean?  
…  
…  
…  
Of course.  
“Maizono-san, you alright?”.  
“Sayaka-san…?”.  
“Hey, is something wrong?”.  
All these questions shake me out of my funk. And only now I realize I’m crying.  
“I… I…”. I’d like to say something reassuring, but…  
Just air. That’s all is coming out of my mouth.  
Stop beating around the bush, you know the sense of those words. You just feel crushed by their weight.  
That’s it. Makoto Naegi was the first, you’ll be the second.  
I manage to rationalize it, not to say it out loud.  
The best thing I manage to do is to run away, almost ashamed. I ignore their shouts.  
Alone, I need to stay alone. A single human being near me will… no, I don’t wanna think about that scenario. It scares me.

*

nightmare destruction devastation  
no no no don’t start to sound like some kind of apocalyptic prophecy as you always do when you’re out of your mind it’s the last thing you need it’s not an apocalypse it’s just the death of a little pathetic wretched human being who will have next to zero impact on the world at large  
but I’m that little pathetic wretched human being and my soul is aflame with anguish rue and wrath  
...what did I say about the apocalyptic prophecy?  
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck  
is this how naegi-kun felt? did he feel the overwhelming nausea the crushing grip on his throat the need to believe all of this is a fantasy and nothing more? I’m burning right now and I don’t know how to extinguish the flames nor if it’s possible at all and I’m not exaggerating  
maybe it’s just because I’m running like a madwoman recently escaped from the mental institution while raving about alien anal probes conspiracy theories chemtrails and all that shit  
I guess I don’t exactly look sane right now I don’t look the part and surely I don’t feel it  
my dash exhausts itself together with my stamina and I almost collapse but I manage to keep a semblance of erect posture courtesy of the wall I’m leaning on  
out of breath  
out of time  
out of life  
that’s me folks hope you like what you’re seeing  
calm down now calm down  
…  
Okay a bit better  
Relax inhale and exhale nice and slow  
You can do it  
…  
Gosh, I really gave my worst there. I’m lucky nobody saw me.  
Not that I care. Being seen is the last of my problems.  
I want to scream. I want to scream at the top of my lungs until they crumple, and then scream some more.  
I’m gonna die. I don’t know when, but I know for sure I will die.  
I. Will. Die.  
I’m seventeen, for god’s sake. It should be illegal for a young person like me to die. Illegal, immoral, inconceivable. And yet… that’s my destiny.  
And I can’t do a fucking thing to prevent it. Naegi-kun wasn’t too keen on the idea, I’m sure, and look where he is now. Stowed like a trash bag in that ugly “eye”, or whatever that thing is. Cold, alone, forgotten.  
No, he’s not forgotten. Not yet. But he’ll be, sooner or later.  
It’s too horrible. Too preposterous. I still don’t really believe it, even after seeing Naegi-kun. Even after what I heard echoing in my head.  
Oh.  
Now I can’t delay that question anymore.  
How I’m going to handle my postmortem. As I said, I’m a quite famous public personality, I’m young and healthy and I’m not supposed to drop dead overnight. It could be quite a hassle, and of course I’m not talking about myself (...you know, being dead and all) but about my fellow bandmates.  
It sounds self-centered to say, but KBN48… they would be nothing without me. I’m the heart, the soul and the face of the group.  
You remove me from the picture? They’re over.  
How can I be so sure about my position in the band and my media exposure? Trust me, I know.  
I didn’t give away my virginity just to hear hollow promises.  
Yeah, I had sex to become what I wanted. That dream is how I stayed alive during the lone nights, while my father was out working and I had nothing to keep me afloat, except the smiling faces of idols on TV.  
I did many things I’m not proud of, to be what I am today. And now everything is being tossed out of the window. Like it didn’t matter at all.  
Father...  
This is gonna kill him, I know.  
We already lost my mother when I was five years old. He worked his ass off to support himself and especially me, but that meant he had double and even triple shifts. He cared, but the circumstances drifted us apart more than necessary.  
And soon I won’t be coming home anymore.  
“Here you are”. A voice behind me.  
Turning around, I see the face I expected.  
“Why did you follow me, Kirigiri-san?”.  
“It was clear to me that something happened back there, in the classroom. I have a hunch, but I like to deal in facts”.  
“How did you…”.  
“C’mon, they don’t call me the Ultimate Detective for nothing. And besides, I was with Naegi-kun when he… you know what I’m talking about”.  
“Really? You were present?”.  
“Yes. He reacted less dramatically, but I’m learning to recognize the moment when someone receives the call”.  
“I see. You surely honor your title. But why are you here now?”.  
“I don’t have a precise reason. I just felt compelled to find you and have this conversation”.  
“Okay, we’re having a conversation but you’re the one who instigated it. So yours is its burden, because if you have really nothing worthwhile to say I’d rather stay alone in my room. Or under a rock. Or here in the hallway, I don’t really care”.  
“To tell the truth yes, there is something I want to ask you”.  
“I’m here. Ask away”.  
“Is there something you’d like to say to someone after… after the battle? I can report your last message”.  
...what?  
Is she asking me if I want to leave a sort of testament? For her to relay?  
Is this Kyouko Kirigiri or a shapeshifter which doesn’t know its victim?  
Are you serious?  
Even with my awesome esper powers, I wouldn’t have predicted that in a million years.  
“Why do you want to know?” I blurt out. I must have sounded truly taken aback.  
She seems unsure about the answer, then finally says: “As you witnessed, I took Naegi-kun’s wish to carry it out in his place. And I found out I like the sensation. It makes me feel… important, and when you have to face the magnitude of a dead-end like ours… anything that gives this mess a semblance of worthiness is very welcome. It’s weirdly soothing. Saddling yourself with the last desires of your dead companions… I guess it’s fitting for an odd person like me. So I figured I’ll do the same for the whole class, until it’s my turn to pilot”.  
My body moves by itself and I hug her. Talk about acting without thinking.  
“Thank you, Kirigiri-san. What you just said is… it’s really sweet”.  
She doesn’t reciprocate the embrace.  
“And you’re not odd. Not as odd as you like to think, anyway. An odd person wouldn’t have thought this up”.  
Still she doesn’t hug me back. Not that I’m complaining or anything, it’s just… a bit sad.  
Since she doesn’t want to openly show affection, I decide to terminate the contact. It was beginning to feel awkward. Naturally her stoic face conveys almost nothing, although it’s kinda reassuring to know that she broke that facade with her words.  
As for her request, I’m thinking about my answer.  
What I come up with is: “I thank you for the nice intention, but I’ll pass. The only person I’d want to say something to is my father, and he’ll be heartbroken as it is when they tell him I’m dead. He doesn’t need anything more from me, and certainly not more sorrow”.  
“I won’t insist, and respect your wish. It’s your passing we’re talking about, you make the rules and I humbly obey”.  
“...you’re mocking me now, right?”.  
“I am”.  
I don’t suppress a snicker, and neither does she. The banter was fun.  
“So you do think I’m odd, huh?”.  
“I was just trying to be polite, you know? And even if I think you’re odd, which I’m not confirming, I really meant what I said. You had a very kind thought, and I enjoyed it as much as the others will. I’m sure of it. And I know I’m being obvious, but don’t let Togami’s scowl or Ikusaba’s coldness or whatever fool you. They’ll be grateful for what you’re doing”.  
Her cryptic, small smile makes something in me flutter for a second.  
“Thank you, Maizono”.  
“No. Thank you, Kirigiri-san. You’re the one who put on her shoulders a task so selfless. I must say, I didn’t think you’d ever come up with an idea like this”.  
“I know, I know. I tend to show my standoffish side. But the situation is… let’s just say that, in the near future, I’ll probably fail to keep up my detached front once or twice”.  
I can’t help but grin. This frankness is refreshing, even if surprising. But it’s not bad to see a person like her be more open with her emotions.  
“Well, I did what I wanted to do. Now I guess you have concerns to sort out on your own, am I right?”.  
“I can’t say you aren’t” I confirm “While I really appreciated this conversation, I’d much rather stay alone and ponder about my impending demise. How to face it, what kind of memory I’ll leave behind, things like that. Nothing too major”. Wow, it seems I can still quip.  
Before walking away she says: “If you are capable of irony in your situation, it means you have what it takes to live your remaining time in the best way possible. I like the outlook. Oh, it goes without saying that I won’t utter a single word to the others about our talk. It’s up to you, when you are ready”.  
“You’re being awfully tactful. Are you feeling sick?”.  
“Mpf. It’s not funny”.  
“You bet it is, or you wouldn’t struggle to remain composed. Ah! I can see you stifling a giggle!”.  
Not eager to give me the victory I deserve, she simply ignores my dig and takes her leave after a quick goodbye.  
Well, I’m off to my room.

*

_Two months later._  
What is this torture?  
Sixty days, give or take a day or two.  
I’m still here.  
I like being alive, don’t misunderstand. But this agony, because I can assure you it’s agonizing… no, I didn’t want to endure it.  
Can you imagine what it means to live two months with the knowledge that you’re about to die... and not die? Every morning I get up asking myself if I’ll be able to see another sunrise, and every night I go to bed asking myself if that was my last day.  
What’s the purpose of existing if the awareness of death stalks you even in your sleep? Every second that comes brings the potential to be the very last one, and then goes away scoffing at me.  
“Relax. I’m sure your time will come soon. Or maybe not, who cares. Either way you’re screwed. Have a nice day”.  
…  
Okay, I’m going mad if I imagine a second talking to me. In a condescending way, no less.  
I’m in my room in the Kibougamine’s dorms, alone.  
During these two months I withdrew into myself, slowly but surely. The headmaster kindly exonerated me from attending classes once he discovered who the second pilot is. And the more time passed, the more I found myself taking up on his offer. At this point my will on that matter is corroded. I lost interest in homework, guess why.  
Likewise, my social life plummeted. Not that I don’t want to spend time with my classmates, it’s just…  
I don’t even know if it’s correct to define me as _alive_ right now. I mean, technically I am but of course that’s not what I’m referring to.  
Fukawa must have used the following figure of speech aplenty in her books, but I really feel hollow. Without a meaning. Lost.  
The reason for that is simple, so simple that I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by explaining it.  
The only question floating in my head is: why? Why couldn’t I be like Naegi-kun and have the ticket for the other world put in my hands in a matter of a few hours? At least it would have been over swiftly, without any unnecessary, lingering dread.  
I have to die. I get it. I don’t like it but I get it. I can even delude myself into believing I’ve accepted it. It’s for a noble cause, which helps me to cope.  
The long wait is simply a cruelty uncalled for.  
C’mon, people up there or wherever the hell you are. Can you put an end to this, please? You don’t want your current plaything to arrive at the finish line all twisted and mangled, right? It would ruin your so well deserved fun, you know.  
Bless the mask of sanity that is sarcasm. It’s true that it takes a fool to remain sane, and maybe that’s why I’m still of relatively sound mind.  
Not for long, though. I won’t resist much longer before going out there and spewing out all the rotten things that are poisoning me. If I have to suffer it’d be too unfair to be the only one.  
Much less two more months. No way no way no way.  
I’m not asking too much, aren’t I? Not for a pardon (I can’t and won’t get it, I’m realist enough), just for a quick execution.  
BLUP BLUP BLUP.  
Argh, someone sent me a message on WhateverApp. I fear I know who it is.  
Sure enough it’s him, Nakamoto-san. My manager. He’s been pestering me for the last week, demanding my undivided attention.

_Sayaka-chan, da fuk? 4 the last time u must come 2 the studios 2 register_

Forgive me for having forgotten, manager-san. My top priority is something else right now.  
…  
_What are you thinking, Sayaka? Don’t tell me you want to…_  
I’d be lying if I said I don’t. It’s extremely tempting.  
_You’re insane! Get in gear and move your sorry ass out of here, you have work to do._  
Work? I can fall down dead any moment and I should worry about work? You’re the stupid part of me, aren’t you?  
_What about your dreams? Your…_  
I didn’t think I could be dense like that. My dreams are going to scatter to the wind the moment I take my last breath. They’ll become nothing, just like me. I don’t feel the moral obligation to do anything for anybody, and surely not for this slimeball.  
_Don’t be rude. He’s just a little overweight, short, balding…_  
The stereotypical image of an executive. Lucky me.  
Further complaints are put to rest with a punch to the jaw. I can’t afford to argue with myself.  
Alright, let’s do this. Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroy Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenkiiiiiiiiiiins!

_You know what, Nakamoto-san? I don’t care. Personal issues. Don’t ask, not your business._  
_I quit the band. Please delete this number, I won’t answer._  
_One last thing. Find yourself another idol for your oral fixation. After all, you said it yourself I’m not too good at giving head._

Never felt a thrill so strong. My hands trembled while I was typing.  
I still have to send it. I want to savor the moment when I lay my vengeance upon thee.  
I admire it again. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever written in my life.  
And now…  
SWOOOOOSH.  
“Nani the fuck?”.  
I’m… I’m aboard the robot.  
Monokuma is leering at me, while the others look dismayed.  
Don’t ask me how, but it seems I have materialized in the center of the group. As if fate, chaos, the kami or whoever the hell decides, wanted to emphasize my current role.  
No that’s not real  
I couldn’t… I couldn’t...  
My cell phone dropped on the bed  
The message is…  
I immediately scan for Kirigiri and when I find her I march in her direction  
Hands on her shoulders  
“Kirigiri I changed my mind I do have a request for you”.  
“Uh? You did? I thought…”.  
“It doesn't matter what you thought things have changed and now you must abide by my wishes”.  
All of a sudden thirteen pair of eyes stare at me  
“Yeah I’m the designated pilot you can take it easy for now”  
“You see, Maizono-san… we kinda already knew that, even if you didn’t say anything”.  
What?  
“You shut yourself away in the last two months or so, and after what happened with Naegi-kun… well, everyone here can put two and two together”.  
Okay  
I don’t care  
I care for one and one thing only now  
“Kirigiri here’s my testament you must go to my room take my phone and send the message you’ll see there read it or don’t read it that’s up to you I don’t mind”.  
“Are you sure that’s what really…”.  
“Never been more sure in my soon-to-end life”.  
“Very well, then. I will oblige”.  
“Thank you and beware if you don’t do it I swear to god I’ll carve your heart out of your chest and offer it in sacrifice to the king of the Netherworld”.  
Oh wow I’m not really in control of myself right now aren’t I?  
“Even if you are a ghost?” Kuwata asks laughing  
“Even if I am a ghost yes you know Kuwata I like you but sometimes I think you’re one of the stupidest most insufferable guys running around”.  
“W-Why I am insufferable? What did I do wrong?”.  
“You open your mouth that’s what you do take this as an advice for the future try to measure what you say and when you say it it will work wonders oh and another thing you’re not Sid Vicious reborn”.  
Now that felt cathartic  
...I have more classmates than just him  
And my time’s up  
I don’t fear retribution  
Let’s go  
“You” I say while facing Ishimaru “you’re an okay guy but too strict for your own good I think you should try to be more chill and enjoy breaking the rules sometimes”.  
He’s shaken but doesn’t react too wildly so I can take the last gibe at him “Your voice keep it down we’re not deaf”.  
“Yuhuuuuuuuuuuuu, not that I like being a party pooper” shouts Monokuma while floating in my face “but it’s my duty to remind our dear Maizono-san that she’s up for slaughter”.  
“Piss off you waste of space I have something to do before I die you wanna cut off one of my fingers or even all of them? Go ahead see how much I care”.  
He refrains from doing anything but he’s clearly furious for my insolence  
Maybe I’ll get away with it but even if I don’t this comes first  
Now Celes  
“Ludenberg I find you quite disgusting as a person but I admire your… your… no I don’t admire anything about you I really hope you’re the next so that the world can get rid of the stain you are”.  
Now Hifumi  
“Yamada you’re nice even if a bit too much obsessed with the 2D dimension but it could be worse and I’m not judging you just try to build some meaningful relationships with real people in the time you still have here”.  
Now Sakura  
“Oogami I have nothing but the utmost respect for you you’re truly a wonderful human being and I’m sincerely sorry you got involved in this mess”  
Now Aoi  
“Asahina I envy your carefree attitude and the joy you have in living life at its fullest it saddens me to think it will all be over soon”.  
Now Byakuya  
“Togami a piece of shit has more value than you”.  
Now Mondo  
“Oowada I know I just know that you’re not the crass thug you like to appear don’t be afraid to show weakness and emotion it won’t ruin anything”.  
Now Yasuhiro  
“Hagakure why why why why are you so unbearably dumb you’re not bad just as smart as a boiler”.  
Now Junko  
“Enoshima you’re simply batshit crazy”.  
Now Mukuro  
“Ikusaba you and your patience with her should be sanctified broaden your horizons and leave your sister’s side sometimes or better yet stop being her underling”.  
Now Chihiro  
“Fujisaki you’re the exact opposite of Oowada stand up for yourself and don’t let fools and their convictions influence you so much be strong you deserve self-confidence”.  
Now Touko  
“Fukawa I’m sorry if I ever mistreated you just now at my sunset I see how cruel and offensive we have been that’s a warning to you all be SURE to handle her with consideration and care”.  
And last but not least Kyouko  
“Kirigiri I didn’t think too highly of you too reserved and weird for my taste but what you did and will do for me reevaluates you in my eyes I thank you again you will give my life meaning”.  
I don’t even wait to study their reactions at my outburst although I do hear their complaints and astonishment and gratitude and open displays of resentment I just turn my back to them and go sit in my chair  
I have an enemy to disintegrate  
And then finally this horrible dream can end  
“It’s clear to see that no less than a fourth of your class would gladly kill you right here right now” Monokuma gathers “but it’d a real blunder. It’s in your best interest that the pilot tackles the battle in absolute security, without any external interference”.  
“They can do as they prefer even stick a knife in my neck it’s just a different way to die it changes nothing for me”.  
“Resigning to your death has truly made you fearless. It’s morbidly fascinating”.  
Okay Sayaka time to focus on your prey  
A strange spider-like robot is facing me and its doom  
I charge forward unite my fists and drive them on its head almost smashing it completely then I grab it by what passes for its throat raise it up and shower it with the laser coming out of our mecha’s mouth  
the massacre is so one-sided I don’t receive a single scratch while my foot is sadistically stomping on this poor idiot of an opponent  
die die die die die die die die die die die die  
so that I can die with you  
its tail tries to hit me in the chest but I manage to dodge fast as a shark I then take it and rip it off with a violent motion  
I’m slaying it  
“Good god Sayaka Maizono-dono, you’re a total beast! Better than Fighter Princess ★ Kira-chan!”.  
“Really impressive. And fearsome”.  
“That’s amazing, Maizono-san!”.  
“Pft. Adequate”.  
“Don’t listen to the four-eyed lemon, Sayaka-chan! You’re doing great!”.  
their comments drown in a sea of nothingness  
I just want closure I’d like to say _any kind of closure_ but since I know what awaits me…  
I’m almost done I’m rapidly losing interest and my fire is going out  
Its last vestiges of resistance namely a hidden blade out of its mouth crumble like a sandcastle after a wave of water splashes it  
finally I smother all traces of will in my foe and squeeze its vital point  
you’re done sayaka you’ve reached the pinnacle of your miserable life  
one final thought goes out to naegi  
I… I really liked you you were something else you know? always bright always cheerful always selfless  
the world is a sadder place without you  
but it’ll probably be better without me  
before closing the curtain I stare at kirigiri silently reminding her of her duty she acknowledges me and nods to confirm her intention of fulfilling the plea  
for the umpteenth time thank you  
remember that the show goes on  
the show must go on  
even if the fabulous sayaka maizono by now ex leader of kbn48 leaves the building  
CRUNCH  
THUD

_Sayaka Maizono died on the 15th of July, 2010._  
_Two down. Fourteen to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Find it meh? Tell me, I'm open to all kind of criticism.  
> Thank you in advance for all comments, kudos and whatever.


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